AlienatedIllusions

Some things take time.

As for some people, like me, we take longer than others to find themselves.
Can't say for certain, but I know the time I spent was necessary to regain my momentum.
Or perhaps it could be said, I simply needed time to build up a desire.

I'm far from over.  As an artist, I just needed to build momentum.
I sometimes feel that a year lost is tragic.  However, if that year was spent for the greater good,
then it was well worth it.

I needed some time to ask myself after my college defeat, why didn't I accomplish anything?
Yes.  I graduated, but NO I didn't.
I'm more than aware that I graduated because it was in the School's best interest and NOT in mine.
The school was down xNumber of graduates from my department and so slipped a few "would be"
non-graduates under the door to make it look like there was a higher turn out.

But, what kind of school does that?  They knew full well I wasn't ready.  I knew it.
However, they pushed me out the door with a, "eh, good enough."  
Makes me wonder about the school's credibility if they could make such a decision.
(Despite it being in their OWN rules that they don't do this kind of thing.)

So, in short, I don't feel like a graduate.
I feel like a failure.

So, even though I managed to get out of flippin' burgers, I'm not in a job that reflects my career-choice.
On one hand, I'm content to work something that I have a better appreciation for, 
but I still feel an itchin-to-do-something kind-a feelin'.

But an entire year.....

Seems like a long time to be out.


To say that I haven't learned anything in that time would be a lie; however, I still feel like I've dropped the ball.


Now that March has started, I'm looking to get back into action.

My goal between now and May 31 is to try and produce something that's actually worthy of my graduating this school.  That means I ultimately have ~ 3 Months to come up with a 3 Minute Demo Reel that would absolutely run circles around my current one being featured at www.AlienatedIllusions.com/PAG… .

I have spent the last month reworking the Layout and Appearance of my website.  I believe that this new layout shows promise.  I'm not web designer, however, I believe that in the midst of my struggles building this new layout, I finally have something worthy of showing off my portfolio.


I know that I don't have many followers/friends that visit DeviantArt, but I would really appreciate it, that as I upload new material going forward, that people not only look at what I'm posting, but also leave comments to help guide me to the vision that I seek.

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